6. There's no drought on my pillows

So I had to get over being used. That bit, was the easiest but still had me bawling my eyes out so that they became very red and puffy. But I'm still bitter (even though I know I am partly at fault) - and the only way to get over that is to get with someone I like, but the idea doesn't appeal to me fully because then I would be a user and the suffering passes on.

God, I had never cried so much - very pathetic seeing no-one promised anything. Thinking back, perhaps it hurt because I thought I could trust him, he knew I liked him and therefore vulnerable. I think something I learnt is that you don't use people who like you. By all means, yes make out with people who have a full understanding of what they are entering are 'friends with benefits' territory but don't do it with people you know who like you.

Secondly, I learnt that I was someone, who cannot give physically without forming or have an emotional attachment. Yes, tis my loss that I can't enjoy the random pash, but I think (or I hope at least) that in the right relationship, this will mean a stronger bond to whomever I end up with.